Lucky Number 7-Before the Always

Sorry about the delay,  school started and I went back to work.  Carry on with the next edition of Before the Always.

The answer was yes, as long as it was okay with her parents and his. Tonight, Jimmy and Lydia had already talked to Lieutenant and Mrs. Baker.  They both agreed it was okay for them to get married during spring break.  Now, they were on their way to the Browns.  Lydia was hoping to have a better visit than the last time she stepped into Jimmy’s house. 

“Jimmy, I want something.”

“You have to wait until our wedding night.”

Lydia blushed and she shoved her fist into his shoulder.  “Not that.”

“I’m shocked.”

“Jimmy, this is important.  I don’t want people to know what we’re doing.”

Jimmy pulled the truck over to the side of the road.  “Why not?”

“Those rumors.”

“Lyddie, don’t worry about what people say about us.  They’re jealous, that’s all.”

“Can we just keep it a secret that we’re married until the big ceremony.  Please?”

“Secrets are worse than rumors, Lyddie.  I don’t know how we can do that.”

“I’ll just keep your class ring on my finger and we won’t act any different than we normally do.  We won’t have any guests with us to tell people, anyway.”

“Stokes is a witness.  He’ll know.”

“He won’t blab.  I’ll kill him if he does.”

“That’s great, Lyddie.  You want to kill my best friend.  He’s already afraid of you, anyway.”

“He goaded you into enlisting, Jimmy.  How can I like him after that?”

“Nevermind.  Back to this wedding thing.  A secret, huh?”

“Covert operation.”

“It seems wrong, Lyddie. Not telling anyone what we’re doing.  Going behind their backs, lying.”

Lyddie grinned. She had a dirty thought and couldn’t keep it contained.  “If you want me lying on my back, you’ll do it.”

“Okay, fine.  We’ll do it your way.”  He eased back on to the street.

“After we’re married, of course.”

“I know, I know.”  He pulled into his parent’s driveway and they both got out.  Lydia didn’t wait for him to open the door for her.

“What do you think they’ll say?”  Lydia asked.

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. “Do I know you, maybe? I haven’t been home for a week and a half.”

“Jimmy, why?”

“I don’t want to be around when they finally decide it’s time for them to divorce.”

He knocked on the door.  He felt like a stranger in his own house.  He had a key, but didn’t use it and he didn’t want to interrupt anything that was going on inside, whether it was good or bad.

Jimmy’s mom opened the door and leaned against.

“Oh, it’s you.  I wondered if you were ever going to show your face in this house again.”  Jimmy and Lydia couldn’t tell which one of them the comment was directed toward.

“Dad here?”

“Yes, your father is here.  Same place he always is.”  She opened the door and presented the room to the couple. 

“You need to come in here, too,” Jimmy instructed.  He held tight to Lydia’s hand and walked with her into the living room where his dad sat on his overstuffed chair.  His mom stood in front of the couch with her arms crossed against her chest.  “Sit down, Mom.  This is some important stuff.”

Anita looked at Lydia.  “Are you pregnant, young lady?”

Lydia shook her head frantically.  “No, ma’am.  No chance of that happening until I’m married.”

“Don’t make accusations, Mom.  Sit down.”

Anita blew out a deep breath and plopped herself down on the mocha colored couch.

“We want to get married.”

“Isn’t that why you proposed to her?” Dale finally spoke.

“Let me finish talking.  We want to get married over spring break.”

“No,” Anita protested.  “No way, Jimmy.  Not in this lifetime.  Not while I’m living.  You’ll get married after you finish school.”

Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck.  “Just listen, okay, Mom.  Listen to me.  I don’t want to stay at this house anymore.  You two are fighting and I don’t want to be in the middle of it.  It’s just two months.  I want to be with Lyddie before I go off to basic.  I want to be with her for more than two weeks before I have to leave.   I love her.”

“You don’t love her, Jimmy.  She has you trapped.  You’re not seeing the big picture.  You think you’re protecting her going off to play soldier, but you’re not.  You couldn’t protect her anymore than your father could protect me when he went to Vietnam.”

“What are talking about?”

“She won’t love you once you come back a broken man.  She won’t want to be near you.  The Army does things to your brain, to your soul.  To your heart, Jimmy.  It changes you.”  Anita looked at Lydia.  “She just wants to take you away from me before that happens.  I’ve already lost your father, Jimmy, I’m not letting her take you from me.”  She pointed a bony finger at Lydia. “She can’t have you!”

“Shut up, Anita!” Dale crossed the room and stood in front of the couch.  “You don’t know half of their story, do you?”

“Don’t yell at me, Dale.  We haven’t said more than two functional words to each other for months and now you’re telling me to shut up.  I hate you!”

“Shut up!”

Jimmy turned to Lydia.  “I think you need to go outside.  It’s about to get ugly in here.”

His parents kept arguing loudly.

“I think it already has.”

“Go outside, please.”

“Is he going to-“

Jimmy shook his head.  He knew the next words out of Lydia’s mouth were going to be “hit her.”  He never saw his dad get physical with his mom when he was one of his rants.  But, right now, he had an overwhelming sense that he needed to stop whatever was about to happen.  “Please, Lyddie.  Just go outside.  I’ll be out in a minute.”

Lydia walked out the door.  Jimmy turned to his feuding parents.  “You don’t talk to my mom that way.  And don’t raise your hand like that at her.  She’s my mom and if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you.  I may not agree with her right now, but you taught me never to disrespect her.  I won’t and you won’t either, Dad, whether I’m around or not.”

Dale looked at his hand like it wasn’t attached to him.  He had no idea he had lifted his hand up and was about to strike his wife.  His eyes grew wide.  He took his hand out of the air and slid it down his face.  “Jesus, Annie, I’m sorry.”  He knelt down in front of her.  “I’m so sorry.  I’d never do that.  No matter how mad I was, baby.  I’d never hit you.  My mind’s playing tricks on me, baby.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t call me Annie. You know I hate that.”

“Let the boy marry her.”

“No, not until he graduates.”

“Anita, things aren’t going to get any better with us if he stays here before he goes to basic.  You’ll resent him even more.”

“Why are you suddenly on his side, Dale?  What did he do to you?”

“It’s not him, it’s me.  I made him join.  I pushed too hard.  I never told him how proud I was of him.  He wants to get away from me, let him do it, Annie.”

“Stop calling me Annie.  I’m not related to Daddy Warbucks.”

Dale smiled.  Anita hadn’t seen him smile in two months. “He’s protected her all along, Anita.  Ask him what he did.”

“Dad, I don’t want to-“

“Tell her.  It might seal the deal.”

“I just beat a guy up for her, that’s all.  It’s not important now.”

“Tell her why, Jimmy.”

“No, dad.  It’s not important.”

Dale looked deep into Anita’s eyes.  “That little girl out there was assaulted by one of the football players.   Your son found out who did it and took care of him for her.”

“And I’m supposed to let them get married two months before they graduate because of that?  You’re out of your mind, Dale Brown.”

“That’s what the docs tell me at the VA. I’ve got proof.”  Dale grinned again.

“That’s not funny, Dale,” Anita snapped.

“Her parents already said it was okay,” Jimmy chimed in.

“Well good for them, Jimmy.  I’m saying no.”

Jimmy went over to the door and pulled Lydia inside.  “I don’t care what you say, Mom, we’re doing it.”

“Jimmy, we agreed.  If anyone said no, we wouldn’t,” Lydia reminded him.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, baby.”  He pushed the loose hair away from her eyes.  “I’m marrying you on March 15. If my parents want to stay in my life, they’ll be at the courthouse, too.”

March 15th came two weeks later.  Jimmy and Lydia stood in front of the Justice of the Peace.  Lydia’s parents and Stokes sat in the front row.  Jimmy’s dad sat in the back and his mom was nowhere in sight.  Lydia saw the sadness in her fiance’s eyes.

“Wait, sir,”  she held up her hand to the justice.

“Lyddie, what are you doing?” Jimmy asked.

“This isn’t right.  Your mama should be here.”

Jimmy looked at the Justice.  “Can you give us a minute?”

The justice nodded.  Jimmy grabbed Lydia’s elbow and guided her toward the seats away from her parents.

“Baby, she’s not coming.  She would be here if she cared.”

“She hates me, doesn’t she?  She hates the fact that I’m taking you away.”

“She’ll get over it.”

“I don’t want to start our marriage off like this, Jimmy.”

Jimmy put his hand on her cheek.  “Maybe I can convince her to come to the ceremony in May.”

“That one’s just for show and you know that!  This is the important one!”  The tears in Lydia’s eyes slipped out of the corners of her eyes.

“Lyddie, don’t cry.  Please.  I’ll talk to my dad and see if he can get her here.”  He kissed her forehead.  “Please don’t cry,” he whispered.  He slipped into the back of the room to talk to his Dad. Lydia sat next to her parents on the front row.  Stokes shifted uncomfortably and looked to the back of the room.

“Sweetheart, if she doesn’t show up, it’ll be okay,” Lt. Baker tried to comfort his daughter.

“It would be wrong, Daddy.  You know that.  I know that.  Jimmy knows that.”

Lydia looked over at Jimmy and his Dad.  There were arms flailing and bellowing.  She looked back at her parents.  She dropped her head in her hands and leaned forward.  “This was a bad idea.”

“Lydia, don’t do that.  You’re mascara will run onto your dress.  Do you know how hard it is to get mascara out of a white dry clean only dress?”

“I don’t care, Mama.”  Lydia used the back of her hand to swipe away the tears.  “This is a big mistake.”

“Don’t say that, Lydia.  Jimmy’s trying.  He’s talking to his dad, isn’t he?” Lt. Baker asked.

Michelle took Lydia’s hand.  “C’mon.  Let’s go fix your makeup.”  Michelle took Lydia out of the court room and into the hallway.  When they passed by Jimmy and his dad, she gave Jimmy a longing look.

“Dad, please, get her here.”

“I tried, Jimmy.  She won’t budge.  I sat in the car for fifteen minutes waiting for her.  She just stared out the window waiting for me to pull out of the driveway without her.”

“What does she have against, Lyddie, Dad?”

“She wanted more time with you and Lydia took up all that time.”

Jimmy ran his fingers through his hair.  “Lydia won’t get married without her here.”

“Mom wins.”

Jimmy paced a moment and then stopped.“No, Dad.  No, she doesn’t.  She won’t win this one.  I’m marrying Lydia today.  Even if you have to drag her here, kicking and screaming, Mom is going to be here, because I’m not leaving this courthouse until I have a wife and a mom to see me get married.  If you ever wanted to redeem yourself for all the crap you’ve put me through, you’ll do this, Dad.”

Lydia walked back in.  Her makeup was fixed and her brown eyes looked over at Jimmy again.  “I don’t want to see her cry again, Dad.  I can’t stand it when she cries.”

“Feels like you have no control, doesn’t it?”

“What?”

“Her crying.  You just want her to stop, don’t you? You want her stop and you want to fix it, but you don’t know how.”

“Are we talking about Lydia or Mom?”

Dale got up from his seat.  “Maybe both.”

“Do it, Dad.  When have you ever done anything for me?”

Dale sucked in air through his teeth.  “Don’t you start with me now, son.  You want me to get your mom here, I’ll get her here, but don’t you play the tortured son card on me.  I have a few cards up my sleeve, too.”  Dale threw open the doors of the court room and walked out.  Jimmy found Lydia leaning against the railing in front of her parents.

Lydia stood up.“Is she coming?”

“She’ll be here.  Dad just has to go get her.”

“Where is she?”

“Doesn’t matter.  Let’s just get this thing started.  She’ll be here before it’s over.” Jimmy took Lydia’s hand and walked back up to the Justice.

“Everything work out now?” the justice asked.

“Yes, sir,” Jimmy answered.

The ceremony started.  Traditional vows were exchanged.  Jimmy and Lydia decided they would wait to write their own vows at the May wedding.  Before exchanging the rings, the door flew open and Anita Baker stomped to the back bench with her husband.  She fell onto the bench, grumbling and crossing her arms.  Jimmy pleaded silently to God that his mother wouldn’t say anything to the effects of “I object.”  They sealed the ceremony with a kiss.  Jimmy and Lydia walked hand in hand out of the courtroom and into the hallway.  Their parents and Stokes followed behind.

“I’ll never forgive you, Lydia,” Anita whispered when she was the only one close to Lydia to hear.  She didn’t wait for a response from Lydia, but stormed off outside.

“Sorry about that,” Jimmy mumbled.

Lydia’s face twitched into a smile. “I’m not supposed to like my in-laws, right?”

“I don’t know the rules on that.”  He felt Lt. Baker’s presence behind him.  “But, I like my in-laws.”

Lydia shoved him playfully.  “You like them because you’re afraid of them.”

“No harm in that, sweetheart.”  Lt. Baker winked at his only daughter.  He cupped Jimmy’s shoulder and shook his hand.  “You be good to my little girl, Jimmy.”

“Yes, sir.”  Jimmy spun Lydia around so she was leaning her back against him.  He wrapped his hands around her waist and clasped them in front of her stomach.  Lydia saw the oneriness that was about to spew out of him in his green eyes. “She’ll be in bed by ten every school night, sir.”

Lydia blushed.  “Jimmy!”

“What you do behind closed doors is none of my concern now.”  Lt. Baker kissed Lydia on the cheek and walked away with Michelle hand in hand.

Dale walked up to them with a wad of cash in his hand.  “Here, take this.  Go find a fancy hotel and spend a night there.  There’s no need to spend your first night married in that dinky little apartment of yours.”

Jimmy pushed the wad of cash back at his dad.  “We like our dinky little apartment.  Keep the money.”

“Son, it’s the least I can do after what your mother did today.”

Lydia squeezed Jimmy’s hand.  It was her little sign that he needed to put away his pride and do what his dad asked. She looked up at him with her brown eyes with pleading in them.  She didn’t want to have a stand off again.  Jimmy shook his head.  “He can’t buy me, Lyddie.”

“It’s a gift, Jimmy.  Let him do it.”

“No.”

“Please.  I don’t want him to hate me, too.”

“Lydia, dear, I don’t hate you. Neither does Anita.  She’s just struggling with her only son leaving in a couple of months.”

“No excuses, Dad.  I’m not taking your money. I’m not letting you buy me off.  I know you’re trying to cover up for Mom, but it’s ridiculous.  She’s acting like a spoiled brat and it’s ruining my wedding day.”  He took his hands from around Lydia and grabbed hers.  “C’mon, baby, let’s go home.”

Jimmy picked Lydia up and carried her across the threshold of the apartment.  It was like lifting a feather she was so light.

“Are you eating, Lyddie?”  he asked concerned.

“Yes.  Why would you ask me something like that?”

“You’re so light.”  He put her down in the entryway.

Lydia put a hand on her hip.  “If you’re asking if I’ve been throwing up because I was nervous, the answer is yes, I have.  Your mama-“

“Don’t, Lyddie.  Don’t talk about my mama right now.  This is about us.  You don’t worry about her.  No more throwing up.”  He tipped her chin up and raised his eyebrows.  “Got it?”

Lydia nodded.

“Promise, Lyddie.  Don’t let her get to you.”

“I promise.”

Jimmy brushed his lips against hers.  He put his mouth close to her ear.  “I want you, baby.”

“You got me,” she whispered in his ear.

“I don’t think you understand, Mrs. Brown-“

“Baker-Brown. Mrs. Brown is your mother.”

“Mrs. Baker- Brown.”  He ran his finger down her arm.  Goosebumps formed on her skin.  “I’ve wanted to get you out of that dress all night.  You’re killing me, girl!”

“Is that all this was?  Just a ploy to get me in the sack? You’re disgusting, Jimmy Brown!”  She threw his class ring at him and ran into the small room that was considered a kitchen.

“Lyddie, come back here!”  Jimmy went into the kitchen and saw her holding herself up on the counter.  Tears streamed down her cheeks.  She looked up so he could see her tears.  “I thought you were different!”

“I am, baby.  I am.  I love you.”

“Then don’t make a crass remark like that.  I’m not a conquest.”

Jimmy blew out a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “I knew this would happen,” he said to himself.

“What?”

“Lyddie, I’m not Brett.  I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want.”

“I know that, Jimmy, I do.”  She looked down at the counter.  It’s just hard to face you right now.”

“Lyddie, look at me. Let me see those beautiful brown eyes.”

Lydia looked up and Jimmy ran his thumbs over the streak of tears streaming down her cheeks.  “I love you, baby.  I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.  I want you because I love you, because I’m married to you. You’re my wife.  I’m not going to judge you, baby.  I’m sorry if I said something to hurt you.”

 “Every time I close my eyes and even think about doing something with you, I see him.  It’s not fair to you.”  She pounded her fist on the counter.  “It’s not fair!”

Jimmy came over to her and wrapped his arms around her.  She cried into his chest. “I won’t hurt you,baby.  I promise.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No apologies, Lyddie.  There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.  I’m the one that should be sorry.  I’m the one that started this whole thing.”  He lifted her face up so he could see into her eyes.  He loved looking into her big brown eyes.  He could see so much in them before she even had to say anything.  “I’m sorry about what I said earlier.  That wasn’t the right thing to say.  I just wanted you to know that I love you and I want to make love to you.”

Lydia’s face reddened.  Jimmy held her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes.  “My gosh, Lydia, I can’t think straight when I look at you anymore.  You’re my wife.  You’re my wife and I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you.”

Lydia forced a smile on her face.  “I know that’s what you meant, Jimmy.  I just keep putting a wall up.  It’s that stupid face.  And that awful grin he had on his face when he did it.”

“Lyddie, baby, I think I have a solution to that.”  He held her close to him again and kissed her.  When she pulled away, he picked her up and headed into the bedroom.

“Jimmy, what are you doing?” she asked when he laid her down on the bed.  He nibbled on her ear and planted kisses along the nape of her neck.

“The solution, baby.”  He held her gaze with his eyes.  “Don’t close your eyes.”  He sat up and pulled off his shirt.  “Whatever you do, Lyddie, don’t close your eyes.”

“You did it, didn’t you?” Alexis asked standing next to Lydia’s at her locker.

“Did what?” Lydia shoved a couple of books into her locker.  Her hands were shaking.

Alexis leaned closer to Lydia so no one else could hear.  “Y’know.  It.”

Lydia grabbed the books for her next class and slammed her locker shut.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  She stared at the ring on her left hand and smiled.

“C’mon, Lydia.  I saw the way Jimmy looked at you.  The way his hands went a little further south than normal when he kissed you a second ago.  Like he owned a piece of you.”

“Jimmy doesn’t own me, Alexis.”

“Whatever.”  Alexis sniffed.  “You even smell like it, Lydia.  You’re not fooling anyone.”

“I smell like strawberry shampoo and cocoa butter.  What does that smell like to you?”

“The horizontal mattress dance.”  Alexis blushed. 

Lydia walked away holding her new set of books close to her.  She had nothing to be ashamed of.  She was married now and what she and Jimmy did behind closed doors wasn’t anyone’s business.  She just didn’t want other people to find out quite yet.  “Everyone’s going to know, Lydia.”

Lydia turned around and took steps toward Alexis.  As she talked, she kept walking which made Alexis have to counter her steps backwards.“Have fun spreading lies, Alexis.  Be sure to tell your leader, Jenni, it was good.  Stokes watched.  Tell her that.  Tell her that Stokes knows everything about what happened this weekend.  Everything and he swore he wouldn’t tell anyone.”  Lydia had her backed up against the wall.  “See what your BFF Jenni has to say about that.”  Lydia pivoted and walked toward the classroom she was headed to before the bell rang a minute later.

“Stokes, I need to talk to you,” Lydia grabbed him after class.  She walked down the hallway with him.

“What now, Lydia?  What are you and Brown going to drag me into this time?” Stokes asked.

“I may have said something, that might have been taken out of context.”

Stokes raised his eyebrows.  “Oh, really? What?”

“I may have said something to the effect that you like to watch.”

Stokes rubbed his forehead.  “You’re killing me Mrs. Baker Brown. Do you know that?”  He lowered his voice so no one could hear him say her married name.  “You are down right stabbing the knife into my heart and twisting it slowly. Who did you say that to?”

“Alexis,” Lydia mumbled.  She knew that Stokes was trying to hook up with her and she had probably blown it for him.  “I’m sorry.  She was just so nosy about it.  I’m just getting tired of all these girls accusing me of something I didn’t do!  They need something to talk about, so let them!”

Stokes stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at Lydia.“You really hate me, don’t you, Lydia?. The one girl left I had a chance with and you tell her something like that.  All because you don’t like the fact that Brown is going Army.”

“Why are you riding all your hopes on Alexis.  She’s just Jenni’s minion.  A stupid puppet for her.  She wouldn’t know what to say unless Jenni said it for her first.”

Stokes shrugged his shoulders.“She’s a cheerleader.  She has potential.”

“Well, if that’s what you’re going for, then why not Jenni?”

Stokes stuttered for a moment. “She’s too clingy and judgemental and I just don’t like her.  I never have.”

Lydia thought about her first encounter with Jenni and then the ones following.  Everytime she was around her something bad happened or something was said that was not in Lydia’s favor.  Jenni wanted attention and Lydia wouldn’t give it to her.  Lydia thought Jenni was a friend until the day she started spreading rumors about Lydia’s relationship with Jimmy.  All bets were off now. “Me neither. What about the junior varsity squad?”

Stokes rolled his eyes.  “Sheesh, Lydia.  I’m not a babysitter.  I don’t date underclassmen.”

“Fine.  Okay, I’m sorry, Stokes.  It was a stupid thing to do.  I didn’t mean it the way it came out.  I’m sorry.”

Stokes put a hand on her shoulder.  Lydia flinched.  Stokes had never touched her and she wasn’t used to it.  He smiled.  “It’s fine, Lydia.  I’ll figure out something.  There’s always the girls across town.”

Jimmy walked up to the two friends and flung his arm around Lydia’s shoulders.  “Watchin’ out for my girl, Stokes?”  He planted a kiss on Lydia’s cheek.

“Jimmy, you don’t have ownership rights,”  Lydia grumbled.  She took his arm off her shoulders.

“Baby, it’s just an expression.”

“I don’t like it.  Please stop calling me that.”

“Looks like the honeymoon’s over,” Stokes said.

Lydia looked at Jimmy and saw the onery sparkle in his green eyes.  “Oh, no.  The honeymoon has only begun.”  He uttered a deep growl at Lydia that made her insides quiver.

“Well, good, because I should probably come over later since I like to watch and all.”

“What?”

“Ask your girl-sorry.  Ask Lydia.  I’m sure she can give you all the details.”

“I’m sorry, Stokes.  I didn’t mean to drag you into it.  I just wanted to get back at Jenni for all the nasty things she’s been saying about me lately.”

“Just tell the truth, Lydia.  Quit hiding.  It’s not a big deal.  Just tell the truth.”  He walked away from the two lovebirds.

“You’re not the one that has to put up with all those nasty things they say about me everyday.”  She called after him.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow at Lydia.  “Care to tell me what’s going on?”

Lydia looked at the floor and drew circles with her toe.  “Not really.”

“Lyddie,” he warned in a voice that sounded way too much like her daddy.

“Don’t say my name like that.  It creeps me out when you say it like that.”

“Wow. Strike two for me.  Something’s really bothering you, isn’t it, Lyddie.  Just tell me.”

Lydia shook her head.  “Not now.  I have to go to class.”

“Later then? At home?”

Brett Warski walked by and saw the two talking.  He flashed that evil grin that reminded Jimmy that he wasn’t the one that got to her first.  Jimmy pulled Lydia closer to him.  “At my house.  We’ll talk at my house.  Okay?”

Lydia nodded.  Jimmy kissed the top of her head and dropped her off at her next class.

Before the Always, Sixth Edition

The papers predicted correctly.  Jimmy took his team to the state championship and won.  He was walking with Stokes over to a crowd of cheerleaders and football players in the parking lot celebrating the win.

“Where’s my girl?” he asked aloud making sure everyone heard him.

Lydia rolled her eyes.  “I don’t have property of Jimmy tattooed anywhere on my body.”

Stokes punched him in the shoulder.  “She’s got your number, man.”

“Whatever.”  He reached for Lydia’s hand, grabbed it and pulled her close to him.  Then he kissed her on the mouth.  They were serenaded by a round of “oohs”, whistles, and obscene comments.  “What’s it like to kiss a state champion?”

“Gross.”  She pushed him away. “ You’re all sweaty and you smell like dirty socks.  Didn’t you shower?”

Jimmy shook his head.  “Dirty socks, huh?” He grinned.  I thought it was the smell of victory.”

“Victory smells disgusting.”  Lydia smiled and held her nose.

Jimmy eyed everyone looking at them.  “C’mon, baby, let’s go.  I want to be alone with you for a few minutes.”

“I thought you were a better man than that,” Stokes joked.

Lydia shot daggers with her eyes at her boyfriend’s best friend.  “I’m not that kind of girl.”

Stokes held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.  “Excuse me.  Sorry.”

“Can you two fight later?  I really need to talk to Lyddie alone.”  He grabbed Lydia’s hand and ran with her to his truck.  He held up his finger to motion to her to wait a minute while he opened the door to the cab of his new truck and rummaged behind the seat for a blanket.  When he found it, he motioned for Lydia to follow him to the bed of the truck.  He pulled down the tailgate and hopped in and held his hand out for her to join him.  She jumped in.

“Here.”  He wrapped the blanket around her and sat her down in front of him.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest.  “Now, you won’t get my sweat on you.”

“I wouldn’t get your sweat on me if you showered, Jimmy Brown.”

“I didn’t have time to shower.”  He bent over and kissed her cheek.

“Why not?”

“I just didn’t, okay?  Don’t ask any more questions.”

“Fine.”  Lydia fell closer into Jimmy’s chest and looked up.  The sky was the color of midnight and stars twinkled throughout.  “Do you ever wish that you could just close your eyes and stay like this?”

“Mmm. All the time.” Jimmy planted tender kisses on her neck.  “Why don’t you close your eyes and think about it for a minute?”

“I don’t have to close my eyes to think about it.”

“Lyddie, you’re killing me here.  Please, just close your eyes.”

“Should I trust you, Jimmy Brown?”

“With your life. Close them.”  He put his thumbs above her eyes and closed them for her.

“Where do you picture yourself in ten years?”  Jimmy asked.  He reached into the window of his truck with his right hand and grabbed something from the gun rack.

“I dunno.  Maybe married.  Maybe not.  I haven’t really planned that far ahead.”

“Do you see me in your future?” Jimmy asked.  He fished out Lydia’s left hand from the blanket.

“ If you’re talking about tomorrow, sure I do.  I’ve got to get home somehow.  You’re my ride.”  Lydia grinned.

“I’m serious, Lyddie.  Do you see me with you?”

“If you haven’t been seriously injured or killed in the Army, I guess I do.”

“I see you with me.  We’re in a big house with kids running around and maybe a dog.”

“No dogs.”

“Maybe it’s a cat then.”

“That’s even worse.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.  Okay, so we have a fish.”

“They die.”

“Lyddie, would you let me have my moment please?”

“Okay, continue, house, kids, some animal that we haven’t quite agreed on.”

Jimmy slipped his class ring on Lydia’s left ring finger.  “Will you?”

Lydia opened one eye and saw the class ring sitting on her finger.  She turned around.  “Will I what, Jimmy?”

“Will you be in the future with me?  Will you marry me?  I’m paying off your real ring and I couldn’t wait any longer, Lyddie.  You’ll have it by Christmas if you say yes.”

“Jimmy, you’re going away.  Things are going to change.”

“This. Me and you.  This is never going to change.”  He brushed away the loose hair from her forehead and held it back with his hand.  “I love you, Lyddie.  Please say yes.”  He pressed his forehead up against hers.  “I’ll even shower if you say yes.”

“Promise?”

Jimmy nodded.

“Did you ask my Daddy if it was okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.  Your mom, too.  My mama didn’t raise a fool.  Don’t make an ex-Marine mad.”  He knelt back on his knees so he could see Lydia’s face clearly. “ C’mon, Lyddie, you’re killing me with all these questions.  I want an answer.”

Lydia looked at the ring on her hand.  “This is the only ring I need, Jimmy.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Yes!”  Jimmy shot up and raised his fist in the air.  “This is the best play I’ve executed all night!”  He lifted Lydia up and spun her around.  When he put her feet back on the solid metal of the bed of the truck, he kissed her like he’d never kissed her before.  “I’ll make you happy, baby.  Wait and see.”

“You already do, Jimmy.”

“Let’s go tell the rest of the guys the news.”  He jumped off the tailgate and lifted Lydia down from the truck.  They ran back over to the cheerleaders and a few of the football players.  Stokes stood from leaning on the front of an old pick up.  “What’s the word, Brown?”

“Yes.”  He backed Lydia up to the truck and looked in her eyes.  “A thousand times, yes.”  He kissed her again.

“Get a room!  You two make me sick the way you can’t keep your hands off each other!” Jenni yelled.

“Can it, Jenni,” Stokes remarked.  “He’s happy.  They’re happy.”

“I could make you happy,” Jenni said sidling up to Stokes.

Stokes stepped away.  “The only way you could make me happy is if you’d move to another state.”

“I wish you’d see what is right in front of you.”

“I do.”  He nodded over to Lydia and Jimmy who were still kissing.  “Two of my favorite people having a good time.”  The kiss was getting a little obscene for others to see. “Uh, guys, you might want to cool it.  Some of us haven’t eaten, yet.”

Lydia pulled away from Jimmy.  “Sorry.”  She wiped her mouth and giggled.  Jimmy looked at her with dancing eyes and smiled.

“Are we ready to go now?” Jenni asked.  “I’m starving.  All that cheering makes me hungry.”

“Can’t,” Jimmy remarked still looking into Lydia’s big brown eyes and smiling.  “I have to shower.”

“I’m nervous, Jimmy,” Lydia admitted standing at the door of his house.

“You’ll be fine.  They’re just parents.  You have some, too, remember?”

Lydia spun the class ring around on her finger.  “What if, what if they don’t like me?”

Jimmy kissed her cheek.  “Relax, baby, they’ll like you.”  He opened the door and let Lydia in before he walked inside.

“Mom, Dad?  Lydia’s here.”

Anita Brown walked from the kitchen into the living room.  She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and then shook Lydia’s hand.  “Hi, Lydia, nice to meet you.  I’m just finishing up dinner.  We’ll eat in a few minutes.”

“Where’s Dad?”

Anita scratched behind her ear and looked at her son. “He’s, uh, he’s not coming,” Anita said.  She hurried back into the kitchen.

“Mom.”  He drug out the word and walked into the kitchen leaving Lydia by the door.

“Where is he?”  He leaned on the counter by the stove where she was stirring what looked like spaghetti sauce.

“At the VA.”  She opened the oven door, pulled out the bread and sat it on the counter.

“Why?”

“He’s having a rough week, okay?  Some of his friend’s kids have been deployed all ready.”

Anita wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

“Why does that matter to him?”

Anita pounded the palm of her hands on the edge of the counter.  “It just does.  It matters to him.  I don’t know what’s in his head.  He won’t tell me.  He won’t tell you.  To be honest, I don’t think he even really tells the therapist the whole truth.  So don’t worry about it, Jimmy.  Let’s just get this dinner over with!”

Lydia slipped into the kitchen.  “Is everything all right?”  Lydia asked quietly.  “I heard yelling.”

“Don’t you judge me for yelling, young lady.”  She wagged the knife she was using to slice the bread.

“I wasn’t.  I didn’t-“ Lydia shook her head and held up her hands trying to ward off the accusation.

“Mom, don’t talk to her like that.”  Jimmy crossed his arms and looked at his mom.

“Why not?  She thinks she can just come in here and fix everything that goes on in this house.  She doesn’t have the slightest idea what your dad has put this family through.”

“Mom, stop.”

“You want to hide it, too, Jimmy?  You want to keep the family secret from her.  The fact that your father doesn’t go anywhere, doesn’t do anything except sit in that stupid recliner and blame the Army for the way he is today?”

Jimmy looked at Lydia.  She wasn’t saying anything, just biting her lip.“Mom, please stop talking.”  He grabbed her arm that was slicing the bread.

Anita looked up at Lydia.  “You made him do this.  You know that?”

“Mrs. Brown, I, I didn’t . ..”

“He wanted his dad to know he wasn’t going to fail.  He wanted him to see that he was just like his daddy.  Protecting the woman he loves.  It’s a lie, Lydia.  A lie.  He’s not protecting you.  He’s running from life in Riley like they always do.  You’re taking him from me, just like the Army took Dale away from me.”  She put the knife down on the counter and looked Lydia squarely in the eyes.  “I’ll never forgive you for that.”

Lydia turned like she’d been slapped in the face and ran out the door.

“Lyddie!”  Jimmy ran after her.  He found her on the front porch gasping for air.

“Lyddie, are you all right.”

Lydia shook her head.

“Tell me what to do,”  Jimmy held her hand. Lydia slid down the wall until she was sitting on the ground. Then, she pulled her knees to her chest and dropped her head between them.  “Tell me what you need.”

After about 30 seconds, Lydia lifted her head up and looked over at Jimmy.  “I need to go home.”

“My mom’s just having a bad day.  It’ll blow over.”

“Take me home, Jimmy.  Your mama doesn’t want me here.  Take me home, please.”

“She didn’t mean that, Lyddie.  All right?  She gets this way when my dad has episodes like this.”

“She hates me, Jimmy!  Did you not hear what she said?  I didn’t do anything.  I didn’t do anything and she already hates me.  Take me home now!”  Lydia got up and walked toward Jimmy’s truck.  Jimmy followed her to his truck and opened the door for her.  “At least, let’s go meet my dad.”

“Why?  So he can blame me, too?  That sounds real fun.”  Lydia blew the bangs away from her forehead.

Jimmy rubbed his forehead.  “Okay, look.  My dad has some problems.  He was in Vietnam and came back different somehow.  I don’t know all the details, but he’s been diagnosed with PTSD.  Sometimes, I just think it’s his excuse, so he doesn’t have to talk about it.  He can be fine one minute and then all of the sudden just withdraw.”

“Jimmy, if you’re not going to take me home, I’m walking.”  Lydia turned around and took two steps towards the street.

“Get in the truck, Lyddie.”

“Are you taking me home?”  She turned and hopped into the passenger side.

“Yes.”

Jimmy walked over and got in the driver’s side.  “We’re just going to take a little detour first.”

“Who said you could call the shots?”  Lydia asked.

Jimmy smiled.  “I’m QB1, it’s my job to call the shots around here.”

Jimmy walked into the VA with Lydia.  He had been there before and didn’t ask for anyone to help him find out where his dad was.  He threw open the door of the therapist’s office and saw his dad sitting in a chair staring out the window.  His therapist wasn’t in the room.

“You skipped out, Dad,” Jimmy snarled.

Dale flinched and then looked over at Jimmy.   “What are you talking about?”

“Dinner.  Lydia.  Remember?”

Dale looked behind Jimmy and saw Lydia standing in the doorway.  “Sorry.”

Lydia flashed a smile that forgave him barely.  Dale looked back at his son.  “She’s pretty, Jimmy. Better treat her right.”

“Why did you come here tonight?”

“Stuff.  Things.  You.”

“I don’t think I need to be here, Jimmy,”  Lydia said.  She backed towards the door.

“No, stay.”  He walked over to his dad.  “Stop being cryptic.  What’s going on?”

“She’s right.  She doesn’t need to be here for this.”

“Nice meeting you too, sir.”  Lydia stepped out the door.

Jimmy sat on the arm of the chair where his dad was sitting.  “You, too, huh?  First Mom goes off on her and then you sit there and snap at me in front of her.  She already  thinks Mom hates her.  What do you think of her?”

“She’s the geometry girl, right?”

Jimmy nodded.

“Nice catch, son.  She’s pretty and smart.”

“She’s worried you don’t like her,” Jimmy said.

“She shouldn’t worry about what other people think about her.”

“Dad, what are you doing here?  Answer the question.”

Dale rubbed his face with both hands.  “I just needed to talk to somebody, that’s all.”

“You’ve got two people at home you can talk to.  Why this? Why now?”

“Are you my therapist now?  If you are, then tell me this.  Why the heck did I screw up my son’s life?  Why did I pressure him into the Army when I knew he was one of the best football players in the county?  I broke you, son.  You know that.  I broke you down, until you had no choice and I’m having second thoughts about that.”

“You’re wrong, Dad.  I did it on my own.”

Dale snorted.  “No, you didn’t, Jimmy.  I made you do it.”

“Really?  Because Mom thinks Lydia made me do it.”

“What?”

“That’s what she told her.  Mom told Lydia that she made me do it and Mom would never forgive her for taking me away from her.”

“Is it true?”

Jimmy stood up from where he sat.  “Nobody made me do anything. I didn’t do it to get out of Riley.”  He put his hands on either side of the chair so he was towering over his dad.  “I did it to get the heck away from you!”

Dale stood up so Jimmy would back down.  “Don’t you raise your voice at me, boy.”

“You wanna fight, Dad?  ‘Cause we’ll fight.  You’ve ruined what could have been a perfectly good night if you would get over yourself.  My fiance wanted to meet my parents and I thought it would’ve been nice if we could have a dinner at home.  But, no, you had to go run off and mom had to blow up in her face.  I’m not happy, Dad.  You both hurt her.  She’s a really nice girl and she just wanted to meet you guys.”

“Your fiance?”  Dale scratched his head.  “When did that happen?”

“A month ago at state.  If you were there, you would’ve known.  I’m surprised Mom didn’t tell you.”

“You’re mother and I weren’t speaking to each other at the time,” Dale grumbled.

“What did you say?”

“Congratulations, Jimmy.  You’re the reason why your mom and I haven’t said two words to each other since you joined up.”

Jimmy slammed his hand down on the therapist’s desk.  “I don’t need this.”  He paced for a few moments.  “I don’t need this.  Don’t blame me, all right?  Don’t blame me for your problems.  It’s not my fault.  You’re the one that shuts down when anyone mentions Army.  You’re the one that won’t talk to us about what happened.  We’ve tried, Dad.  We’ve tried so many times, we just started giving up and leaving you alone.  I’m leaving.  I don’t need this.”  Jimmy walked to the door.

“Jimmy, wait-“

Jimmy stepped over the threshold and turned to face into the room where his dad was.  “I’ve waited long enough.  Goodbye.”  He turned back around to get Lydia, but all that was in front of him was a lobby with empty seats.  She was gone.

Lydia sat in the truck with her dad.  Her arms were crossed and her lips were in full pout mode.  “They don’t like me, Daddy.”  She had called her dad when she realized that Jimmy’s detour wasn’t a good idea.  She didn’t want to stay for what was going to happen next.

“Who wouldn’t like you, sweetheart?” Lt. Baker asked.

“Jimmy’s parents.  His mama told me she’d never forgive me.”  Lydia ran her finger along the edge of the window.

“Forgive you for what?”

“Jimmy.  She thinks Jimmy joined the army because of me.  I didn’t tell him to do it. I don’t even want him to go.  But, she thinks it’s my fault.”

“Lydia, don’t let her get to you.”

“She did, Daddy.  She yelled at me in front of Jimmy and I didn’t have a good comeback at all.  I just turned and ran away again.”  Lydia slammed her fist on the paneling.  “Why do I keep doing that?”

“Be nice to the truck, Lydia.”

“I know, I know, this is your baby since I’m grown up now.  Sorry.  But this is serious stuff, Daddy.  I can’t marry Jimmy if his parents don’t like me.”

Lt. Baker pulled onto the street where they lived.  “I think it doesn’t matter what his parents think.  Your grandma didn’t like it when I joined the marines.  She got over it.”

Lydia looked over at her dad’s bicep.  His tattoo was peeking out from under his sleeve.  “Just like she got over that tattoo.”

“Jury’s still out on that one, sweetie.”  He pulled into the driveway.  Jimmy’s truck was parked and he was leaning against the door.

“Looks like someone’s here to apologize.”  Lt. Baker nodded in Jimmy’s direction.

“Tell him I have to go inside, Daddy.”

“Lydia, I don’t lie for anybody.  Not even you,baby girl.”

“I don’t want to talk to him right now.”  She crossed her arms and looked out the window.

“He probably just had a fight with his parents about you.  He knows that you’re mad.  He just wants to talk to you.  I’ve been down this road before, sweetheart.  Talk to the guy.”  Lt. Baker shut the truck off and got out.  Lydia sighed and followed behind until Jimmy came up to her.

“In at ten.  You’ve got school tomorrow,” Lt. Baker called over to the two.

“Yes, sir,” Lydia answered.

Lt. Baker shut the door and turned on the porch light.

“He’s pretty adamant about that rule, isn’t he?”  Jimmy asked.

Lydia nodded.  Her face was scrunched up in a frown.

“Hey, baby, don’t look like that.”

“They hate me, Jimmy.”

“C’mere.”  He motioned for Lydia to come closer to him and he wrapped her up in a hug.  “I’m sorry things didn’t go well tonight.My parents are going through some stuff and they don’t like to tell anyone.”  He was silent for a moment.  “Including me.”

“Is everything okay, Jimmy?”

Jimmy sat down on the step on the front porch.  “No.” He pulled Lydia down into his lap.  “But, I’m here with you now and that makes it okay.”

Lydia felt her cheeks flush while she smiled.

“Whew, that’s a relief.  I thought I’d never see that smile after tonight.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jimmy put his hand on her cheek.  “I saw the look you had when I walked up to you.  I don’t like knowing I gave you that look.  You’re too pretty to be sad.”

“Jimmy-“

“Shh, baby.  Let me finish.  I promised I’d make you happy and I’m not breaking my promise.”

Lydia touched his hand that was on her cheek.“Jimmy, you don’t have to do this.  You need to go home and talk to your parents.”

“I’m not going home for awhile, Lyddie.  I’m going to stay at Stokes’s place.”

Lydia wrinkled her forehead.  “Stokes has his own place?”

Jimmy drew his hand back and  suppressed his laughter.  “No, Lyddie. He lives with his aunt and uncle.”

“Where are his parents?”

“Dead.”

“Wow, I didn’t know.”

“He won’t talk about it much.  His aunt pretty much let’s him do anything he wants.  He’s got a pretty good gig there.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Sometimes I wish I had his life.”

Lydia stood up from his lap.  “Don’t say things like that Jimmy.  Your parents will be okay.”

“Really?  I went home to get my things and my mom was sitting in my dad’s chair sobbing and saying she wanted the man she married to come back.  My dad’s an emotional wreck right now because he thinks he did something to drive me out from football and into the army. And that just means he shuts everybody out and won’t say a word to anyone but the stupid VA shrink.”  He pulled Lydia back down on his lap.  “You’re the only thing good in my life right now, Lyddie.”  He held her head in his hands and kissed her.  “I don’t think I can wait until May to marry you.”

“That’s what the plans are looking toward.”

“Spring break isn’t that far away.  How about then?”

“Jimmy, we can’t.  We’ve got to finish the semester.”

“We will, baby.  C’mon.  I can’t stay at my house another minute and eventually I’m going to wear out my welcome over at Stokes’s.”

“I want a nice wedding.  Not just something that was thrown together at a moment’s notice.  I am a girl, ya know.”

Jimmy wiggled his eyebrows.  “Oh, I know.  I definitely know.”  He tickled her ribs.  She fell into a ripple of laughter and squealed.  “Only girls squeal like that.”

“You’re not making it easy for me to say no, Jimmy.”

“Rumor has it that’s its not easy for you to say no, anyway.”  His eyes twinkled when he looked at Lydia.  He pressed his forehead up against hers.  She didn’t look happy about that comment.  “You know I’m kidding about that, right?”

“Can we compromise?”

“I’ll do anything you ask, baby.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 Before Lydia could give her compromise, Jimmy spilled his thoughts to her. “Here’s my plan, Lyddie.  We just get married in front of the Justice of the Peace over spring break.  By then, I’ll have an apartment and we can live there.  Then, after grad we can do your wedding.  Just the way you want it.”

“I don’t think my parents would go for that, Jimmy.  They want me to finish school first.”

“You’ll finish, baby.  I promise.  We’ll finish together.  We’ll graduate together.  We’ll do everything together, just like we planned.”

“And then you’ll leave me.”  Lydia stood up and ran to over to Jimmy’s truck.  She didn’t want him to see the hurt in her eyes.  She stood in front of the hood and pressed her hands against the hot metal.  He went after her.  When he was close enough, he grabbed her by the arm and turned her around.

 “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what, Jimmy?  Like its the truth?  Because it is and you know it.  You know that’s exactly what’s going to happen.  Everything is going to be just fine until May and then two weeks later all hell is going to break loose and I’ll be stuck in Riley alone in an apartment too big for one person.  Nobody’s going to help me.  Nobody’s going to care about me.  Everybody hates me anyway.”

“Stop staying stuff like that, baby.  It makes me feel like your not wanted.”  He wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her onto the hood of the truck.  Then, he put a hand on each of her legs and traced circles with his thumbs on them.  “And believe me, you are wanted.”

“Jimmy, stop.” Lydia turned shades of red.

“You’re adorable when you pretend to be embarassed.”

Lydia turned away so Jimmy couldn’t see her face.  “I’m not pretending.”

“Marry me, Lyddie.  Spring break.  I’m not against begging you.”  He kept his hands on her legs and knelt down on his knees.

“Get up, Jimmy Brown! This is embarassing.”

Jimmy reached in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.  “I was going to give this to you earlier tonight, but there never was a good time.”

“Is that?”  Lydia’s eyes sparkled with anticipation.

Jimmy nodded.  He opened the box to display the platinum band he had saved for and finally had paid off.

“I told you this is all I needed, Jimmy.”  She pointed to her left finger where his class ring sat.

“You deserve more than that, Lyddie.  Just say yes to spring break.  Please.”  He held out the box for her to take, but she didn’t.  Instead, she closed it and hopped off the truck.

“Save it for the ceremony.”

“Which one?”

“I have to think about it.”

“You’ve only got a few weeks to answer.”

Lydia stomped her foot like a two year old who didn’t get the candy she wanted in the grocery store check out line.  “Don’t pressure me, Jimmy Brown!  I don’t do well under pressure!”

Jimmy stood up and smoothed back Lydia’s hair.  “Okay, okay.  I’m sorry.  I just really want to be with you now.”

“I get it.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Jimmy leaned his forehead againt hers.  “I don’t know if I like this onery side of yours.”

“Gotta love all of me.  Even my quirks.”

“Oh, I do.”  He leaned in closer and kissed her hard on the mouth.  Lydia saw the porch light flash after about two minutes of their lip locking.

“Ugh!”  Lydia looked at her watch.  “Nine fifty nine.  How does he do that?”  Lydia leaned in for another kiss.  “I wonder what would happen if I was just a minute more . . .”

Jimmy took a step back from Lydia.  “Your daddy is a retired marine, Lyddie.  Let’s not risk it.”  He grabbed her hand and led her back to the door.

Lydia grinned.  “You’re afraid of him, aren’t you?”

“No.”  Jimmy shook his head.  “No.”  He paused. “Okay, maybe a little.  Have you seen his arms?  They’re like cannons.  I don’t know what his job was in the Marines, but I’m pretty sure I need to stay on his good side.”

The door opened and Lt. Baker stood waiting.  “Ten o’clock.”

Jimmy kissed Lydia on the cheek.  “Good night.  Think about it.” He winked and walked to his truck after Lydia went inside.  Her dad went back to the couch next to her mom.

“Daddy, that was so embarassing!  You were spying on me.”

“I was not.”

Lydia pointed an accusatory finger at her dad and looked at her mom.“He flashed the lights when we were kissing, Mama.”

Michelle grinned.  “We were just having a little fun, Lydia, lighten up.”

Lydia put her hands on her hips. “We were having a serious conversation.”

Lt. Baker crossed his arms and scrunched his eyebrows into a V.  “So sorry, sweetheart.”

“This isn’t funny!  What if you and Mama were kissing on the front porch and I flashed the lights on you?  Hmm?”

Lt. Baker scooted closer to Michelle.  “Let’s try it and see what happens.”  Lt. Baker leaned in and kissed Michelle.  She squealed with surprise and then got quiet while they kissed.  Lydia closed her eyes.

“This isn’t happening.”  She massaged the bridge of her nose.  Lydia opened her eyes and grinned.  It was time to get back at her parents.  “It’s past the ten o’clock curfew.”

Lt. Baker pulled back and kept his eyes locked on his wife’s eyes.  “What are you going to do?  Send us to our room?”

“Punishment accepted,” Michelle said a little too quickly.

Lydia ran up the stairs.  “Ew, ew, ew!  I’m going to bed!”  She slammed the door behind her.

Lt. Baker pulled Michelle up from the couch.  “So, are we,” he called to the closed door.